Stories of two ruined birthdays and PS
P.S. before the 2 stories…
Picture it… fake first cousin invites me to attend her wedding in patriarchal Poland during a particularly hot summer…
I am playing eldest and therefore most important cousin so I agree to waste money and time and be her honored guest… c
She books a spa to get all the females in the house and her close friends their hair and makeup done for the wedding, set to take place in a few hours…
She comes to me and says oops she forgot to place me on the list for the spa! I am the only one who was left out of the guest list, THE ONLY ONE… even her neighbor’s bitch dog is going but I’m not on the list so I’m not going and no one on the list is being told “too bad so sad” first cousin law boots you off the list and she is now on it…
I shocked with her lack of class and manners!
They leave…
I go to make my own spa experience with whatever is in her mother’s two spacious bathrooms equipped with hairdryers, curlers and straighteners…
Wow…
All the hair did equipment that was there yesterday is GONE because they pupousfully hid it!
Nasty as fuck and rabies infested “family” come back high as fuck on “we did her innnnnnnn, she will look like shit” and their jaws drop to the floor (visibility shaken, I ruined their fake wedding, I’ve never seen so much hatred and disbelief oozing out of the “sound of silence”) because unlike a shit eating whore, I am resourceful and not only have my hair and makeup “did” but am one bestie richer because they forced me to expand my horizon and make friends with their neighbors!!!
She starts crying, saying it’s the perfect birthday gift and she WILL buy it for me… she makes a scene… I’m like WTF where is the hidden camera, I’m being punked… she grabs it from my hands and says she will get it for my birthday…
I don’t argue because she gave me a headache and I just wanna go home…
Fast forward a month… I open up my birthday gift saying FINALLY…
To my HORROR, it’s not even anywhere near what I wanted and was about to purchase for myself…
She got me the wrong thing and then pretended it was just an “innocent” mistake!
I find her in the last second, outside of Cocobongo, just in time to punch the Mexican to stop him from taking off with her and force her off the moped by getting into a physical altercation with her (I had to fight her, I had no choice) to get my belongings so I was not stranded ALONE AND RESOURCELESS in Mexico on my RUINED birthday whilst she did nothing but yell at me in the cab ride back to our hotel screaming I ruined HER night!
